Police Hunt Thong Bandits

SKY NEWS REPORT!

Police are hunting two robbers who failed to grasp a fundamental rule of crime - mask your identity.

 

The pair caught on camera

Rather than ensuring their faces were covered, the dozy duo opted for a more fashionable but less effective disguise.

CCTV cameras caught them at a Colorado convenience store wearing thongs over their faces.

The ladies' underwear, which leaves little to the imagination, was a far from sensible choice.

The rest of their face was clearly visible, police in Arvada say.

Officers also have a few more clues to work with as one of the men failed to cover up a distinctive tattoo on his arm.

Stolen cigarettes and cash they took from the on-duty worker were also stashed away in his pink backpack.

The men, believed to be in their 20s, were not armed.

Oh my goodness!! I nearly wet myself when I saw this!!!!

Can
you cry under water?

How
important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated
instead of just murdered?

Why
do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your
thoughts'?  Where's that extra penny going to?

Once
you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in
for eternity?

Why
does a round pizza come in a square box?

What
disease did cured ham actually have?

How
is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good
idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why
is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like
every two hours?

If
a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why
are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why
do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to
look at things on the ground?

Why
do doctors leave the room while you change?  

They're
going to see you naked anyway.

Why
is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why
do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp,
which no decent human being would eat?

If
Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can
a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If
the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out
of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why
does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?  

They're
both dogs!

If
Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he
just buy dinner?

If
corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what
is baby oil made from?

If
electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do
the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why
did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why
do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a
hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did
you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but
when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

The day finally arrived.   Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.   He is at

The Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself.  However, the gates are closed,

And Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest,

It is certainly good to see you.   We have heard a lot about you   I must

Tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering

An entrance examination for everyone.  The test is short, but you have to

Pass it before you can get into Heaven."

Forrest responds, "It sure is

Good to be here, St. Peter, sir.  "   But nobody ever told me about any entrance

Exam.  I sure hope that the test ain't too hard.

 Life was a big enough test

As it was."

St. Peter continued, "Yes, I

Know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.

First:

What two days of the week begin with the letter T?

Second:

How many seconds are there in a year?

Third:

What is God's first name?"

Forrest leaves to think the questions

Over.  He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and

Says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over,

Tell me your answers"

Forrest replied, "Well, the

First one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter "T"?

Shucks, that one is easy.   That would be Today and Tomorrow."

The Saint's eyes opened wide and

He exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do

Have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit

For that answer.   How about the next one?" asked St. Peter.

"How many seconds in a year?

Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, but I thunk and thunk about

That, and I guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve?

Twelve?  Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds

In a year?"

Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's

Got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... "

"Hold it," interrupts St.<